The number of things that we want to do at any point of time in life is inversely proportional to the amount of time that is there to do those things.*
I have been thinking about writing a number of blogs for a long time but its been a while that I have slept properly and have had time to actually be with myself in order to really write anything that come straight from the heart and is not in any way contaminated by the thought of finishing it as quickly as possible. I can type fast but I cant write when I am in a hurry. I type the fastest when I am thinking a lot and I dont think a lot when I have 5 exams to prepare for and 200 sheets to correct!! and that mostly has been the case the last few months.... well the exams have not been there everyday.. but something or the other have always been there. And lazy as I am I did not want to blog with that sense of pressure.
But one thing that has always motivated me to come back and write is the comments of my readers some of whom I dont think I have even met and that gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. That there are people who want me to write and have been waiting for another blog. So my apologies to all those people.
I have a break for four days , which is basically the Thanksgiving break and I hope to write a few blogs that have been formed, destroyed, formed, modified , destroyed and formed again in my mind for quite some time now. It will take time to fish them out carefully from the nooks and corners of my mind, where they hide hoping to elude me. But they will come out eventually.
A few things that I would like to write upon in the upcoming few days are the following. This is essentially a checklist so that I remember what I want to write upon.
My favorite music (Genre, Artist/Band, Song)
My favorite movies
My favorite books.
Ithaca, Cornell, Snow and all the other small things!
First Semester at Cornell
Update of what happened since my last blog. A few snippets.
Insomnia
Thats basically it.
I had gone outside my house a minute ago. Its about -1 Degree Celsius which is not that bad considering I have seen -10 already and am waiting for -20. But what was surprising was that I only had a pair of slippers on (and other clothes also.. for the really imaginative people!!) and I didnt really feel cold. It gave me the sense of being acclimatised to this place.
Its about 2 in the morning. I do have a lot of stuff to do but they are well dispersed and I think I Can manage them.. and yet I am awake. I dont want to venture into the question of why.. because it will not give me a correct answer.
However there is one thing that I did want to talk about before i signed off and it was about Bombay..or Mumbai for the die hard Marathi fans..
I dont want to sound like a politician by saying I deeply sympathize for those families who have been victims of this inhuman and barbaric acts of terrorism that have not only reconfirmed our nations belief in unity. I would rather say two words to those who are behind these attacks and those words are not printable.
I wonder if my blog will be ever read by people who are behind these 'associations' or 'organizations' who carried out these 'operations' but the following is my piece of mind to them and to the youths whose face have been showed on television, being behind the acts and also to those who are raring to go for more such acts of cowardice.
Who are you?
I mean really . A better question would have been what are you because I am sure you would not know who you are. But then I dont even think you know what you are. You are probably an orphan considering the fact that you dont know what it means to have a family and therefore to be away from them. You would say you do and which is basically the reason behind all this. But really ? Is that your understanding of the world. In terms of - I cant be with my family so lets kill all the other families that I see..... If that is so then in that case not only are you terribly confused and in an urgent need of psychological counselling but you are also living in an environment which obviously never explained to you what the word love means. You have absolutely no clue that there exists a world where people are more patient and more calm. Definitely more reasonable than you are and obviously more intelligent.
Which brings me to my first assumption that you are probably an orphan or someone who was never allowed to stay with his mother. For it is mother's love that I believe is the biggest and the best example of unconditional love and forbearing that probably instills in all of us (NOT YOU) the confidence in controlled agression and restraint.
Still, I dont understand what and who you are. The news channel say you look like a college student. I disagree. I disagree to the fact that you have gone through any sort of educational procedure what so ever. Counselling and preaching you must have received. But education ? No.
I do not know what language you speak. I speak hindi, english and bengali. But since my mode of communication is english on this website and if you are reading this you would probably understand the language.. I would use english to describe what education is since you have no clue what it is.
Educatus is probably the latin root for education. It means to bring up or to rear. Yes. Reared you have been. Like sheep. And so your brains has been as non evolutive and dull as a sheep's would probably be. By the way we are humans. We were probably born human and then something happened.. and that something according to you is 'education' which from your point of view is right because you were brought up that way.. but unfortunately you met all these other two legged species when you learnt the language and the other forms/modes of communication you were 'taught' and realised you do not fit in. You suddenly realised all these other 'animals' were more smarter than you are and whatever you learnt was all wrong. Probably you were filled with an unrestrainable anger and your 'educators' realised this. They however were also humans at one point of time. With a brain better evolved but still not quite and they tapped this amount of anger and filled it with more information as part of your education. You 'learnt' more of the same stuff which made you even more angry for those people whom you thought were more educated were not only more successful but also more happy. You cannot possibly accept that can you. For in your education happiness is a sin. But then everything is a sin isnt it for you. The fact that you are alive is a sin for you and so you decide you want to do. But that is not enough. Other people are alive and its a sin too right? Especially if they have a family and they are innocent and they are better off than you are .So they need to die too right? My question to you is do you realise the falacy of this argument. Do you see that by killing yourself and all these other people you dont achieve anything. But you wont understand that would you? Because you are saturated with all the 'education' that you have got. Your little sheep brain cant take it any more. So one fine day , answering to the call of your Master you take a boat, a few guns and explosives and land up on a city which is too big for you and your little hole that you stayed in for all these years. The lights blind you and the highrises mock at your misery. The smiles on all those ahappy people are not something you want them to have isnt it? And so you open fire. But no. That is not enough. You then hide in some corner of a room and shoot at unsuspecting people. You and your masters thing thats something to be proud of when really what you have done is proved yourself to be a coward, a lunatic, a heartless selfish machine who has only one goal in life and that of failure and he succeeded in it. But no. you are supposed to meet glories later after you die isnt it? I wonder if you do. Tell me please when you do cause I would like to know how that is more satisfying than the feeling of sitting with your family together on a dinner table and having food that you honestly acquired not by stealing or gunning down someone else but by working hard for it. But how would you know ? Your food has been hatred and drink has been blood for all these years. How would you know what honesty is in any form?
If I ask you what are you again you would probably reply the name of your religion. Do you really think I CARE? The people you killed or maybe are planning to .. do you discriminate what religion they are of ? Then why so much pride about being part of a classification that you dont even know who made ? And if you do discriminate on the basis of their passport identification what religion they are of, do you know why the people from the other religion deserve to die ?
Wikipedia , something that you probably use sometimes says the ultimate origin for the word religion is ligare- which means to reconnect. Alas. You who have no memories to reconnect to , except for words and speeches of other such bigger sheeps in your herd.. can no longer reconnect to anything. And yet you are so proud about religion?
If its not religion you would say its nationality. What nation are you from ? Do you even know ? Or is that confusing as well ? What is the nationality of the god that you follow? What about water ? Does it also have a nationality. Air? What about the bullets? The blood that you spilled ? You are hell bent on hating specific nations to the extent that uou have forgotten that nations are just boundaries on maps and it is really not nations that your are against. You are against a thought or probably an idea that you think is wrong.. and you foolishly extrapolate that a nation is equal to an idea. And if you do , do you realise how strong that nation is then, if it really represents one idea...??
But talking about ideas? What ideas or ideals or idealogies do you hate anyways. Considering the fact that you randomly shoot at people I dont think you like a lot of ideals anyways so lets ask which ones do you like ? Randomly killing people ? Showing no proof of intelligence whatsoever by blindly followin a group of individuals or an individual and digesting whatever crap they tell you or feed you ? What IS really your ideal ? Do you have one at all.. ? How can you. Till now I get the idea that you have no intelligence, no recollective memories of faith, love and family. You have no mind of your own and only information, no 'education' no identity. HOW THEN CAN YOU HAVE AN IDEAL ?
Well obviously you dont have one. Its someone else's ideals or opinions that you base your actions on. Which is probably another cowardish act cause then no one can blame you right? And yet you hope to be seen as a hero....a hero to have succeeded in pulling off the most cowardice act possible and thus a hero. That does say a lot about the people who think you will be an hero... doesnt it ?
I wanted to ask you your opinions about God. But considering the fact that 'you' as an individual do not exist and its only a collective bottomless pit of dark matter that I would be talking to I wonder if you can hear me down there ? Do you even know who or what you believe in ? You obviously dont believe in humanity..and if you dont then are you saying that whatver god you follow doesnt believe in humans either? And if he/she doesnt then how is he/she a god. Cause I thought the concept of god was started by humans. Unless you are really a sheep volunteering the cause for sheeps , who have been continually slaughtered for human pleasure and it is now your turn to fight back. If that is really so and you accept that you are a sheep and sheeps have a different god altogether..who doesnt care about humans.. then I would want to know if the 'Leader-sheep' has an idead about what you would do after there are no more humans left ? Would you then start killing birds also. Have you thought about the possibility of grazing unendingly on all grasslands ever possible and thus continually eroding the soil till the entire world becomes a desert and then all of you die in lack of food and water.. ?
But I am sorry. How can you think so far ahead. You are sheep after all ?
I wanted to ask you about after life also but then you are dead already from inside. Which is probably a motivation why you want to equate mental death with physical death as fast as possible. I wonder ... if your headsheep is really so worried and concerned about your 'salvation' and freedom why doesnt he slaughter himself first along with the rest of you together on their own like a mass sacrifice so that no further gene pool is derived from your "pureblood". At least you would do justice to the next generation of two legged animals that have now now contact with the real outside world in your presence... But justice is skewed for you isnt it? Not only is it not blind but it also have no balances anymore. She has a gun and a remote control in her two hands and looks for any two legged being that has a working mind....
I despise you. Your little hole that you come from. Your organizations and associations that pretend to spread holiness among the rest. I despise your ideas though you have none. Your ideals, the only one of killing everyone else. I despise your morals which are non existent. Your sense of helplessness which forces you to do act this way. I despise your intent .. if any. I despise your existence in the same world as mine. And yet I dont despise you enough to take up a gun and shoot you. For I have seen what it feels like to be with real people. And although you are just a machine, a nobrained android i dont want to give justification to your hatred by resorting to the same methods as yours. I leave it to those who have chosen a profession of defending their ideals and opinions by defending innocent people.
How are you different from the army ?
An army is successful when it fails.. i.e there is peace all around. Your Success is your failure.
An army has a goal, a sense of purpose, a reason to exist. Your success is your justification for your reasonlessness of non existence.. I laugh at you.. and I cry for those who were victims of your stupidity. For they did not even have the satisfaction of being part of a reasonable show of aggression.
If one of you, to whom this is meant to be written for are reading this and realise I have suddenly lost the freedom to exist any more I would consider all my arguments to be correct.
FOR MY OTHER MORE REASONABLE READERS...I WANT COMMENTS. I WANT OUTCRIES.. I WANT THOSE SENSELESS $%@$^%$&$%& INDIVIDUALS TO READ YOUR COMMENTS AND SUPPORTS AND REALISE THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY.. I KNOW BOMBAY AND THE REST OF INDIA WILL FIGHT BACK. WE ARE TOO STRONG TO BE SCARED BY THESE COWARDS. WE HAVE SEEN A LOT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR EXISTENCE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WE ARE A COUNTRY FILLED WITH INDIVIDUALS WHO CAN THINK LOGICALLY. SO HAVE COURAGE MY FRIENDS. THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.....AND WE WILL MOVE ON.
I would also like to salute to the 5 officers of Maharashtra/Bombay Police who were martyred in the encounters. I do remember hearing about some of them prior to this incident. But I sincerely hope their souls rest in peace. I would also request any one from any media house , who if by any chance are reading this to stop bothering their families.. with questions like Howe are you feeling about your brother's death or etc... Lets not hope someday a tv correspondent is asked the same question by another about his/her own brother's death...Let that day not be the lesson of how bad it feels.
Take Care.. I will be back with the blogs that I promised I will write.
*My first line was a line I had been thinking about for quite some time now and I did not get the time to detail more on that. I will definitely do so on one of my later blogs. But it remains as a food of thought for all of you....
I have been thinking about writing a number of blogs for a long time but its been a while that I have slept properly and have had time to actually be with myself in order to really write anything that come straight from the heart and is not in any way contaminated by the thought of finishing it as quickly as possible. I can type fast but I cant write when I am in a hurry. I type the fastest when I am thinking a lot and I dont think a lot when I have 5 exams to prepare for and 200 sheets to correct!! and that mostly has been the case the last few months.... well the exams have not been there everyday.. but something or the other have always been there. And lazy as I am I did not want to blog with that sense of pressure.
But one thing that has always motivated me to come back and write is the comments of my readers some of whom I dont think I have even met and that gives me an immense sense of satisfaction. That there are people who want me to write and have been waiting for another blog. So my apologies to all those people.
I have a break for four days , which is basically the Thanksgiving break and I hope to write a few blogs that have been formed, destroyed, formed, modified , destroyed and formed again in my mind for quite some time now. It will take time to fish them out carefully from the nooks and corners of my mind, where they hide hoping to elude me. But they will come out eventually.
A few things that I would like to write upon in the upcoming few days are the following. This is essentially a checklist so that I remember what I want to write upon.
My favorite music (Genre, Artist/Band, Song)
My favorite movies
My favorite books.
Ithaca, Cornell, Snow and all the other small things!
First Semester at Cornell
Update of what happened since my last blog. A few snippets.
Insomnia
Thats basically it.
I had gone outside my house a minute ago. Its about -1 Degree Celsius which is not that bad considering I have seen -10 already and am waiting for -20. But what was surprising was that I only had a pair of slippers on (and other clothes also.. for the really imaginative people!!) and I didnt really feel cold. It gave me the sense of being acclimatised to this place.
Its about 2 in the morning. I do have a lot of stuff to do but they are well dispersed and I think I Can manage them.. and yet I am awake. I dont want to venture into the question of why.. because it will not give me a correct answer.
However there is one thing that I did want to talk about before i signed off and it was about Bombay..or Mumbai for the die hard Marathi fans..
I dont want to sound like a politician by saying I deeply sympathize for those families who have been victims of this inhuman and barbaric acts of terrorism that have not only reconfirmed our nations belief in unity. I would rather say two words to those who are behind these attacks and those words are not printable.
I wonder if my blog will be ever read by people who are behind these 'associations' or 'organizations' who carried out these 'operations' but the following is my piece of mind to them and to the youths whose face have been showed on television, being behind the acts and also to those who are raring to go for more such acts of cowardice.
Who are you?
I mean really . A better question would have been what are you because I am sure you would not know who you are. But then I dont even think you know what you are. You are probably an orphan considering the fact that you dont know what it means to have a family and therefore to be away from them. You would say you do and which is basically the reason behind all this. But really ? Is that your understanding of the world. In terms of - I cant be with my family so lets kill all the other families that I see..... If that is so then in that case not only are you terribly confused and in an urgent need of psychological counselling but you are also living in an environment which obviously never explained to you what the word love means. You have absolutely no clue that there exists a world where people are more patient and more calm. Definitely more reasonable than you are and obviously more intelligent.
Which brings me to my first assumption that you are probably an orphan or someone who was never allowed to stay with his mother. For it is mother's love that I believe is the biggest and the best example of unconditional love and forbearing that probably instills in all of us (NOT YOU) the confidence in controlled agression and restraint.
Still, I dont understand what and who you are. The news channel say you look like a college student. I disagree. I disagree to the fact that you have gone through any sort of educational procedure what so ever. Counselling and preaching you must have received. But education ? No.
I do not know what language you speak. I speak hindi, english and bengali. But since my mode of communication is english on this website and if you are reading this you would probably understand the language.. I would use english to describe what education is since you have no clue what it is.
Educatus is probably the latin root for education. It means to bring up or to rear. Yes. Reared you have been. Like sheep. And so your brains has been as non evolutive and dull as a sheep's would probably be. By the way we are humans. We were probably born human and then something happened.. and that something according to you is 'education' which from your point of view is right because you were brought up that way.. but unfortunately you met all these other two legged species when you learnt the language and the other forms/modes of communication you were 'taught' and realised you do not fit in. You suddenly realised all these other 'animals' were more smarter than you are and whatever you learnt was all wrong. Probably you were filled with an unrestrainable anger and your 'educators' realised this. They however were also humans at one point of time. With a brain better evolved but still not quite and they tapped this amount of anger and filled it with more information as part of your education. You 'learnt' more of the same stuff which made you even more angry for those people whom you thought were more educated were not only more successful but also more happy. You cannot possibly accept that can you. For in your education happiness is a sin. But then everything is a sin isnt it for you. The fact that you are alive is a sin for you and so you decide you want to do. But that is not enough. Other people are alive and its a sin too right? Especially if they have a family and they are innocent and they are better off than you are .So they need to die too right? My question to you is do you realise the falacy of this argument. Do you see that by killing yourself and all these other people you dont achieve anything. But you wont understand that would you? Because you are saturated with all the 'education' that you have got. Your little sheep brain cant take it any more. So one fine day , answering to the call of your Master you take a boat, a few guns and explosives and land up on a city which is too big for you and your little hole that you stayed in for all these years. The lights blind you and the highrises mock at your misery. The smiles on all those ahappy people are not something you want them to have isnt it? And so you open fire. But no. That is not enough. You then hide in some corner of a room and shoot at unsuspecting people. You and your masters thing thats something to be proud of when really what you have done is proved yourself to be a coward, a lunatic, a heartless selfish machine who has only one goal in life and that of failure and he succeeded in it. But no. you are supposed to meet glories later after you die isnt it? I wonder if you do. Tell me please when you do cause I would like to know how that is more satisfying than the feeling of sitting with your family together on a dinner table and having food that you honestly acquired not by stealing or gunning down someone else but by working hard for it. But how would you know ? Your food has been hatred and drink has been blood for all these years. How would you know what honesty is in any form?
If I ask you what are you again you would probably reply the name of your religion. Do you really think I CARE? The people you killed or maybe are planning to .. do you discriminate what religion they are of ? Then why so much pride about being part of a classification that you dont even know who made ? And if you do discriminate on the basis of their passport identification what religion they are of, do you know why the people from the other religion deserve to die ?
Wikipedia , something that you probably use sometimes says the ultimate origin for the word religion is ligare- which means to reconnect. Alas. You who have no memories to reconnect to , except for words and speeches of other such bigger sheeps in your herd.. can no longer reconnect to anything. And yet you are so proud about religion?
If its not religion you would say its nationality. What nation are you from ? Do you even know ? Or is that confusing as well ? What is the nationality of the god that you follow? What about water ? Does it also have a nationality. Air? What about the bullets? The blood that you spilled ? You are hell bent on hating specific nations to the extent that uou have forgotten that nations are just boundaries on maps and it is really not nations that your are against. You are against a thought or probably an idea that you think is wrong.. and you foolishly extrapolate that a nation is equal to an idea. And if you do , do you realise how strong that nation is then, if it really represents one idea...??
But talking about ideas? What ideas or ideals or idealogies do you hate anyways. Considering the fact that you randomly shoot at people I dont think you like a lot of ideals anyways so lets ask which ones do you like ? Randomly killing people ? Showing no proof of intelligence whatsoever by blindly followin a group of individuals or an individual and digesting whatever crap they tell you or feed you ? What IS really your ideal ? Do you have one at all.. ? How can you. Till now I get the idea that you have no intelligence, no recollective memories of faith, love and family. You have no mind of your own and only information, no 'education' no identity. HOW THEN CAN YOU HAVE AN IDEAL ?
Well obviously you dont have one. Its someone else's ideals or opinions that you base your actions on. Which is probably another cowardish act cause then no one can blame you right? And yet you hope to be seen as a hero....a hero to have succeeded in pulling off the most cowardice act possible and thus a hero. That does say a lot about the people who think you will be an hero... doesnt it ?
I wanted to ask you your opinions about God. But considering the fact that 'you' as an individual do not exist and its only a collective bottomless pit of dark matter that I would be talking to I wonder if you can hear me down there ? Do you even know who or what you believe in ? You obviously dont believe in humanity..and if you dont then are you saying that whatver god you follow doesnt believe in humans either? And if he/she doesnt then how is he/she a god. Cause I thought the concept of god was started by humans. Unless you are really a sheep volunteering the cause for sheeps , who have been continually slaughtered for human pleasure and it is now your turn to fight back. If that is really so and you accept that you are a sheep and sheeps have a different god altogether..who doesnt care about humans.. then I would want to know if the 'Leader-sheep' has an idead about what you would do after there are no more humans left ? Would you then start killing birds also. Have you thought about the possibility of grazing unendingly on all grasslands ever possible and thus continually eroding the soil till the entire world becomes a desert and then all of you die in lack of food and water.. ?
But I am sorry. How can you think so far ahead. You are sheep after all ?
I wanted to ask you about after life also but then you are dead already from inside. Which is probably a motivation why you want to equate mental death with physical death as fast as possible. I wonder ... if your headsheep is really so worried and concerned about your 'salvation' and freedom why doesnt he slaughter himself first along with the rest of you together on their own like a mass sacrifice so that no further gene pool is derived from your "pureblood". At least you would do justice to the next generation of two legged animals that have now now contact with the real outside world in your presence... But justice is skewed for you isnt it? Not only is it not blind but it also have no balances anymore. She has a gun and a remote control in her two hands and looks for any two legged being that has a working mind....
I despise you. Your little hole that you come from. Your organizations and associations that pretend to spread holiness among the rest. I despise your ideas though you have none. Your ideals, the only one of killing everyone else. I despise your morals which are non existent. Your sense of helplessness which forces you to do act this way. I despise your intent .. if any. I despise your existence in the same world as mine. And yet I dont despise you enough to take up a gun and shoot you. For I have seen what it feels like to be with real people. And although you are just a machine, a nobrained android i dont want to give justification to your hatred by resorting to the same methods as yours. I leave it to those who have chosen a profession of defending their ideals and opinions by defending innocent people.
How are you different from the army ?
An army is successful when it fails.. i.e there is peace all around. Your Success is your failure.
An army has a goal, a sense of purpose, a reason to exist. Your success is your justification for your reasonlessness of non existence.. I laugh at you.. and I cry for those who were victims of your stupidity. For they did not even have the satisfaction of being part of a reasonable show of aggression.
If one of you, to whom this is meant to be written for are reading this and realise I have suddenly lost the freedom to exist any more I would consider all my arguments to be correct.
FOR MY OTHER MORE REASONABLE READERS...I WANT COMMENTS. I WANT OUTCRIES.. I WANT THOSE SENSELESS $%@$^%$&$%& INDIVIDUALS TO READ YOUR COMMENTS AND SUPPORTS AND REALISE THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY.. I KNOW BOMBAY AND THE REST OF INDIA WILL FIGHT BACK. WE ARE TOO STRONG TO BE SCARED BY THESE COWARDS. WE HAVE SEEN A LOT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR EXISTENCE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WE ARE A COUNTRY FILLED WITH INDIVIDUALS WHO CAN THINK LOGICALLY. SO HAVE COURAGE MY FRIENDS. THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.....AND WE WILL MOVE ON.
I would also like to salute to the 5 officers of Maharashtra/Bombay Police who were martyred in the encounters. I do remember hearing about some of them prior to this incident. But I sincerely hope their souls rest in peace. I would also request any one from any media house , who if by any chance are reading this to stop bothering their families.. with questions like Howe are you feeling about your brother's death or etc... Lets not hope someday a tv correspondent is asked the same question by another about his/her own brother's death...Let that day not be the lesson of how bad it feels.
Take Care.. I will be back with the blogs that I promised I will write.
*My first line was a line I had been thinking about for quite some time now and I did not get the time to detail more on that. I will definitely do so on one of my later blogs. But it remains as a food of thought for all of you....
2 comments:
My condolences to victims of this gruesome and cowardly attack.
It is really refreshing to see such an original and apolitical voice speak out in anger and genuine concern, in response to the terror attack in Mumbai. As usual, your ideas are lucid and highly logical and it sure sums up the pathetic and despicable condition of the terrorists perfectly.
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