Hey There..... fellow PIGS..

It is to fulfill the promise that I had earlier made that I start this post and probably the post will end in a hurry when the boarding call comes around. In the last few hours I have written a review for Arbovirus. Gone around the duty free shops once more. Had a buffet dinner and spent some time at the upstairs Emirates dining area and have successfully carried out other duties that are better left undescribed. Needless to say I am at my last leg of waiting time and am even contemplating a visit to wormbase to resume working on the list of genes I would like to work with. But since I am anyways going to work on that from the moment I land on American soil maybe I defer it for a while. Anyways I have already checked for all the new papers on steroid + c. elegans on pubmed and google scholar and since there are none and not many interesting papers on c. elegans in general either... ill let it be for two more days.

To tell you the truth, the trip back home this time was very good. Gave me all the necessary time off I think I needed. It did not however give me all the time I needed to make the trip a huge success. My last years trip was about 19 day long and this time it was 14. I believe something in between is a really good figure for getting most of it done and yet not being guilty about it. I will not ask for 17 days next year though. I deserve a much bigger vacation considering it was only 2 weeks this year and I know what it is going to be from now till next december.....

But since there will be more ocassions to whine about that later I will keep talking about today and the trip. I believe a little more time would have given me the opportunity to take care of my dental health, mom's x-ray and dad's check up. It would also have been better to really meet everyone who wait for me to come back home.

I can understand that all graduate students work equally hard and deserve equal amounts of vacation. What however most people dont understand is that when we Indian Grad students go home it isnt just vacation that we are going for. Trust me. I will not be able to convincingly say its the same for the Chinese students and other South East Asian countries but I am sure I am talking for the entire group of Indian students studying anywhere in the usa.

When we go back home its an event. An event that not just parents, but relatives , neighbours, friends and foes mark their calendars for. There is planning involved to buy gifts that will be enough for at least 30 people, not including chocolates which is an almost a necessity by itself. If you dont bring chocolates people might even question the very fact that you are studying in the usa.. So you end up choosing and ordering gifts of different genres, sizes, weights, values and significances.

You guys have no idea what we go through at every step of this process called Going to India

The choice of gifts depends on the age.. obviously .. of the person receiving it. But then it also depends on what he has and what he doesnt have... necessity that is. Then it depends on the value. It also depends on where it is made . For e.g. Made in China isnt that lucrative. Even if it costs 20$ something that says Made in France, Germany, USA, Spain even Lithuania suggests something exotic. But China... its our neighbour. The country which produces stuff that we can already get back home. And since everything available in USA with the sole exception of food products are made in china its getting tougher to hunt down those exotic countries. Made in India, Pakistan, Vietnam , Bangladesh and Srilanka are however the most frowned upon. You will not be able to make someone realise that the Levis Jeans that says Made in Sri Lanka is actually made out of imported material that would cost a fortune back in Sri Lanka but is cheaper here in the USA. Its a lost argument and you really wont win it. ever.

Unless........

The brand is Adidas or Nike. Hereagain is a surprise .. while you cannot buy stuff that is made in the subcontinent you will also be at a loss if you buy brands that are not very well known. Indian consumers are only very recently being aware of the international fashion market. More and more Indians are acquiring the amount of money required to buy a YSL perfume and thus YSL becomes a brand known in India. Similarly while Old Navy, Abercrombie, Aeropostale, American Eagle are brands that are very common here at US, back home they are the hep (hip) stores. Since the sports brands have reached global status quite some time back its safe to gift someone a nike / adidas t-shirt. Columbia Sportswear however needs to work on its Indian marketing strategy :)

Apart from this you also need to worry about how you are distributing the gifts. You have to take care that you dont give a seemingly more expensive gift infront of somebody who thinks he/she is more important to you but has got a seemingly less expensive gift. Simply put an adidas t shirt costing 8$ is going to attract more attention than a Bath and Body works 20$ gift pack. Here too where the comparitive products are made in becomes a deciding factor.

Food products are normally not appreciated. Even if its the only industry currently where China does not have a monopoly in the US market and even if some of the items one would really not get in India. Why ? Because they are easily perishable. A pack of Chessmen cookies from Pepperidge Farm is not going to last more than 6 months dear ! A pair of mittens or a muffler/scarf from Old Navy/Aeropostale is going to last for 6 yrs or more in the indian winters.

There is more to it. Especially when you start thinking about kids. Kids have toys. Toys are perishable. but thats ok. cause they are novel. However really really stupid they might be. But one thing though. The variety and the quality of the toys taht are currently available in any departmental stores is mind boggling. Me and my elder brother were literally reminded of our toyless or lets say near-toyless (cause i still have my prizely possessed set of G.I.Joes stashed in a showcase back home) childhood. As if we were buying it for ourselves, we always buy gift toys for our cousins. And we always play the big brother and show them how it needs to be played or operated .. But really what we are doing is satifying our deep rooted hunger for toys :)

Then there are necessary things. Such as torches, lamps, maybe electronic items and this is where we Indians learn diplomacy. These are high value goods. We therefore never buy them for everyone at the same time. Obviously we are not that rich but also it needs to be rotated. At any point of time, there is at least one person who is very happy because he/she got a high value goods..

Then one has to consider the weights of these goods, the total cost so that it doesnt exceed the customs stipulated amount, date of purchase, date of delivery etc etc.

That is just to take them there. The process of Procuring .

Then comes the distribution.

Over time, I have realised that the best way is to give it to your mother. She knows best how to handle the situation of angry/insulted/unsatisfied relatives. For if you are starting your undergraduate course in diplomacy, she is a professor emeritus.

Distribution takes tact and patience. You cant just give it to the person. You have to make the suspense and build it up. The value of the good is not just a function of its price but also the effort and the thought and you have to bring that out. Its like writing a paper. If you just talk about what you did it will end up in Org Lett or Tet. Lett. If you claim this is the Number 42 disguised in Chemistry language , it will end up in JACS. And if you can have one or two of the mice to speak on behalf of you... you might even end up in Nature !

Once the gift distribution process has started, hand in hand is visiting people and talking to them. Our Indian society is deep rooted in micro-networking. It forms the basis of our whole life, superstitions, marriage, divorce, education .. you name it.

I should mention at this point that all this that I say is not with sadness or grievance. Its with a sense of joy and happiness that I make these comments for with everyline that brings you a smile, ye non indians, remember .... it brings tears of joy in our eyes. really.

Visiting people means relatives, friends, neighbours, neigbour's friends, friends' neighbours, neighbour's relatives, relatives' neighbours, neighbours' parents, neighbours' friends' parents, neighbours' friends' parents' neighbours. You get the picture. You will never be able to meet them all. Never. Be it this year. Next year. There is always going to be someone who is going to say... "you dont meet me these days. Dont become an American just because you have gone to America". Its a similar deal with gifts and phone calls. You will always leave someone out. Its necessary.

Then there is your own work you know. Friends whom you really wanted to meet up. Blogs that you really wanted to write. Stuff that you really wanted to do for your parents. Your parents' annual health checkup which they will always ignore but would secretly want you to tell them or take them to. fill up forms in banks. Catch up with all the paper work that you needed to do for the other 50 weeks in the 2 weeks that you went back home. Obviously your time , effort and other people's time and effort permitted. . A simple signature in the bank will take about 1.5 hrs. and there goes your post lunch session. There are details that I will not go into and leave for later but needless to say it is the third priority - you, your parents and your life..

Then amidst all this chaos you will think off your life here in the USA and will realise there are some quintessential items that you must purchase from India or else your life will never be complete....e.g. soap. It isnot enough that most departmental stores in the usa stores almost all the naturally and artificially known scents and herbs in forms of soaps. We are really at a loss if we dont use the ones that we have grown up with. As if the lavender soap marketed as cinthol in india by Unilever corp is very different from the same product marketed in a different name in the USA.. but trust me .. it wont work. IT DOESNT.....

biscuits ...... forget OREO, Pepperidge farm, etc etc.. its the good old Britannia Bourbon, Hide and Seek, Good Day biscuits that makes our life complete. (post colonial obsession...?? maybe ?!!)

savory snacks... these are required for tea ( We are indians no??)

home made cakes ... these are required for coffee (we stay in the USa after all)

Bedsheets ... they are cheaper.

Indian spices .... OMG... THEY ARE FAR FAR CHEAPER BACK HOME...and anyways american food is soooooooooooo bland!!!

food produtcs of all other kinds. ....

At this point we face a paradox... ill call it the PIGS Paradox, PIG being the well known acronym of Poor Indian Grad Students..

Most food items that we carry from india have the same perishablity.. which means they will all stay at the most for 3 weeks. maybe 4. and im talking about the one mom makes or is only found in select shops. The ones that are special. So imagine everything taht you take lasts for 4 weeks. Eventually you have to eat everything within that time.......

ill continue on this later.. surely.
the gate is open and i will go now.. take care..,.. and stop laughing.. this is my country and fellow country men i am talking about.